 Grief Therapy is a charming little book from the line of "elf help" publications with illustrations by R.W. Alley.written by Karen
Katafiasz. There are
35 thoughts to ponder which move one through the grieving process and each has an accompanying illustration featuring the Abbey Press Elves. I've found this book to be a very useful tool
for facilitating the grief process in my work with clients.Grief Therapy emphasizes there's no way out of grief, only
through grief. By letting ourselves
experience grief we can move beyond it.
Beyond not meaning going back to the old way of what was once normal or
denial of our hurt, but beyond to fully integrating loss into our
life, to richer understanding, renewed
purpose, deeper spirituality and rebirth.
Moving through and beyond grief is what we hope to experience by
engaging in grief counseling. I’d like to share with you some of the concepts from the
book and my thoughts related to the segments quoted in hopes you’ll find it
helpful and healing. Respect the power of
grief know that it can affect you psychologically, physically, and spiritually
in intense and sometimes surprising ways.
Stay gentle with yourself. If this is your first significant loss or it's been awhile since you've experienced a significant loss you may be surprised by the level of intense feeling and emotion that are coming up, and the affect they have on your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. It is important to take care of yourself to
the best of your ability. Get plenty of
rest, eat nourishing foods and drink
plenty of water. Nurture your spirit by
finding comfort from family and friends, attending spiritual services, engaging
in meditation and prayer, reading or listening to spiritually
oriented books, and listening to your inner guidance. These things help us get in touch with the
source of divine love and comfort within us.  Cry. Your tears testify to your love. And tears that spring from love help bring
healing and renewal. Let your tears
express the harsh reality of your loss.
And let them begin to wash away the sadness and pain.Crying is the natural way for the body to release sadness
and pain. In our culture we are taught
to have a stiff upper lip and control our emotions to the point of denial. Repressing our grief is unhealthy and can
lead to illness and despair. Allowing
the feelings of sadness to emerge and flow freely helps us process those
feelings and brings relief. In some religious and spiritual traditions it is customary to hold rituals of mourning in which wailing is part of the shared experience of expressing one's
sorrow. In this way the mourners support
each other and acknowledge the power of their emotions and loss. This facilitates moving toward healing and
integration. Be with those who are
also grieving. As you tell your stories,
you will share an understanding of the heart that is deeper than words.  It can be very therapeutic to attend a bereavement support group while you're going through the grieving process. There you will have a place to talk about
your loss and have the support of others who are going through the same
thing. You will find an atmosphere of
love, acceptance, and a consistent place to share your thoughts, feelings, and
experiences through this very difficult time in your life. You will also find inspiration and hope by
hearing from others who are further along on their grieving journey.Sometimes your grief
can be so overwhelming because it encompasses the grieving you never did for
other, earlier losses in your life. Let
yourself feel the pain of these losses too. Grief counseling can help you deal with overwhelming
feelings that have been repressed or forgotten from former losses. If you did not process these former losses
adequately these old feelings will be triggered and emerge along with your
current grief. A skilled professional
can help you manage overwhelm and do the work of processing the old with the
new so you can finally release the pain that has long been waiting to be heard
and healed. It may seem as if you'll never truly feel happy again. But be assured that you will—and your joy will
have richness and a depth that come from your having known profound pain and
profound healing. Your grieving is among the most sacred and the most human
things you will ever do. It will plummet you into the mystery of life…and
death… and resurrection. Honor it. Unfortunately, loss is an inevitable part of life, we all must grieve the loss of something or someone at some point. This is a painful reality we face but we can get through it and come out with a deeper sense of the spiritual connection we have with each other and a renewed sense of meaning in life.  It may be hard to imagine now and it will take some time to
come to this place in your healing journey but I wanted to leave you with a sense of hope that what you are going through will
get better and there is some light that will emerge out of the darkness of your
grief. All quotes by Karen
Katafiasz from the book Grief Therapy, 2004, Abbey Press |
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